Every day I get an email from Meetup.com suggesting a new group I might want to join. Young Republicans. Future Farmers. Martial artists and stay-at-home moms and people considering becoming travel agents (is that even a thing any more?). None of them are my tribe. Meetup’s web-tracking technology clearly has room for improvement.

But the absurdity of the suggestions has inspired a tanka (a poetic form related to haiku) series. The titles are the actual meetup group names and first line or two of each tanka is taken from or inspired by that particular meetup’s description. Here’s the first installment:

WARRIORSAGE DOJO
WarriorSages
keep one foot planted in the
material world.
It’s a delicate balance:
meditate or masturbate.

POTLUCK COMMUNITY GROUP
Looking for people
who want to slow down. Crock pots
get in a hurry
for no one. Try new friendships
or farro salad or both.

THE ART OF UNDOING
Words cannot capture
what inner silence offers.
Especially not
these words, but we’re thinkers, not
fucking cocktail party hosts.

INTUITIVE PAINTING SOCIAL
Group for anyone
who wants to paint from the heart.
Open vein, insert
brush. What, you thought this would be
watercolor for wusses?

HENDERSONVILLE ROSE SOCIETY
Public meetings will
provide presentations on
all things rose. To wit:
Every rose has its thorn. That’s
not even the least of it.